But what exactly is Minjok? Koreans use this term frequently to describe their identity, even though the concept of it cannot be easily explained. I am a student of Korean Minjok Leadership Academy and the school tries to raise Minjok's future leaders. Shamefully, I feel daunted to talk about what the word means since I find it ambiguous and difficult to set the boundary as to how far it covers. So, it was a moment of revelation when I discovered that 'Minjok' is actually derived from a Japanese notion of minzoku (nation) in the early Meiji period. Further research found that Shin Chae-Ho, an active nationalist and independence activist in the first few decades of 20th century, proposed the concept in an attempt to "inspire confidence in Korea's resistance against the Japanese" when Korea was under Japanese rule. 

1. History

Shin Chae-Ho, “Korea’s greatest historian”

Shin strengthened the idea by tracing Korean history to Dangun, a fictional character who is believed to had founded Gojoseon in 2333 BC. Dangun replaced Gija, a semi-legendary Chinese sage who is said to have ruled Gojoseon in 11th century BC. The reason why he chose Dangun as the root of the Korean is well-explained in Korea Between Empires, 1895-1919, written by Andre Schmid. 

This tells us the Minjok was devised to set Korea's genealogical history apart from that of China and Japan, establishing the uniqueness of the Korean race. In other words, the concept had to be created out of necessity to stop Korea from being a colony and fight against Japan's attempts to assimilate Korean culture in various ways such as Sōshi-kaimei, forbidding the use of Korean in schools, and forcing to worship Shinto, Japans's indigenous religion. Shin's plan was to set Minjok as a pivotal idea in enlightening people about the situation and stimulating both resistance and autonomous spirit in their mind to take back what they had lost.  He also wanted to prevent intellectuals from collaborating to Japan. Many intellectuals including turned their backs on Korea due to social Darwinism, an ideology of society which suggested that the 'fittest' races survive. One of them was Yi Kwang-su, well-known for later cooperating with Japanese rule over Korea, even though his early works aimed for national enlightenment, and he grew up with Donghak believers, a religion which rose against the encroachment of European culture.

2. 'Minjok' after liberation

Rhee Syng-Man(Left, in office from 1948 to 1960) Park Chung-Hee(Right, in office from 1962 to 1979)

So, the goal of Shin's Minjok concept was to unite Korean people through the same historic ancestry. What is interesting is that the race-based concept did not disappear after Korea's liberation and persists to this day unlike Germany and Japan, which abandoned it after the world war due to its extremely nationalistic qualities. The concept flourished to serve as political motives in the early years of South Korea, especially when President Rhee Syng-Man and Park Chung-hee took office. If Shin used the notion to resist against imperialism, the two president combined nationalism and anti-Communism in Minjok to accomplish their political intentions. They tried to bring Korean people together to "increase competitiveness and productivity, improve national unity, and preempt criticism of the government."

This approach had resulted in several desirable outcomes. Rhee "established building blocks for development of Korean economy" by instituting market economy. Park introduced New Community Movement, successfully modernizing rural economy to strengthen Korea's economic stability. The movement greatly promoted Korea's economic growth that UN chose it as one of the efficient rural development models in the world, and that more than 70 countries adopted it as a base model for economic reform.


But at the same time, strong nationalism provided the two presidents reasons to justify violence against those who held communist beliefs. Rhee was responsible for Jeju Massacre in 1948 and Bodo League Massacre in 1950, which his army slaughtered an estimated number of 60,000 and 200,000 South Korean communist sympathizers respectively. One fifth of the entire Jeju population was killed because they disagreed with the idea of setting up different governments for North and South Korea. Bodo League was an 're-education' movement consisting of leftists and Rhee's political opponents. When Kim Il-Sung started the Korean War in June 1950, Rhee ordered his army to execute Bodo League and South Korean Workers Party related people, and U.S. Army also took part in the killing. These mass killings were kept highly confidential for many years from the public, as the government argued that its policies do best to implement the interest of Minjok.

Left : Communist sympathizers captured while hiding in mountains in Jeju Right : Bodo League massacre mass grave

3. Another concept, Minjung

People's lives under the Fourth Republic and its Yushin Constitution were harsh, with a president exerting virtually autocratic power. Therefore, people began to fight for their political freedom against government suppression. Gwangju Democratization Movement arose a year later the assassination of Park in 1979, against the military coup by an army leader Chun Doo-Hwan. Numerous political demonstrations ensued including June Democracy Movement that drove Chun to quit presidency and changed the constitution to allow direct election of the President. 



The movements were attempts to shift the best interests of the nation from Minjok to Minjung, which included those politically oppressed, economically exploited, sociologically marginalized, culturally despised, and religiously condemned. This point of view condemned Korean government's reliance on Japanese and American economic and military powers, and tried to re-write Korean contemporary history from the perspective of 'the people' without the concept with Cold War mentality.

...the minjung liberation ideology argued that Korea’s enemies were not those north of the 38th Parallel, but rather those in South Korea, Japan, and America who profiteered from the labor of the Korean workers. It demanded a concrete reflection on the impact of economic development in Korea on the minjung’s welfare, and on the autonomy of Korea’s own domestic affairs, as well as economic independence.

The term “minjung” was associated with dissatisfied crowds of common people as early as the Tonghak peasants rebellions in the late nineteenth century. The later meaning of minjung was profoundly re-shaped by the 1980s student movements which added a socialist character to the image of the nationalistic and righteous minjung.

Luc Walhain - Transcending Minjok: How Redefining Nation Paved the Way to Korean Democratization

4. 'Minjok' in the future

Minjok is an artificial concept designed to bring people together and fight for existence of the nation. It was made out of necessity to set Korean apart from other countries, and triggered Defensive Nationalism. By stating Koreans have long history and are tanil-minjok (a single-ethnic nation), it created a strong bond between the people. However, it acted as an obstacle when dealing with North Korean issues and globalization. Incorporated with anti-communism, discussion of policies regarding North Korean has always been a sensitive matter in the National Assembly. Nationalism caused by the concept of Minjok often resulted in discrimination against the mix-raced and migrant workers.

In a globalized world, countries continue to establish close relations with other nations. It is an inevitable situation which every country will have to go through regardless of the position and influence in international society. Korea is not an exception, as "the number of immigrant spouses and their children reached 309,800, accounting for 0.36 percent of the population. The figure is expected to exceed 2 million by around 2050, taking up 5.1 percent of the population." Although the Korea nationality law is based on jus sanguinis,  the emphasis on sharing the same blood does not hold much importance in current segyehwa trend. It only hinders ethnic non-Koreans living in Korea including multicultural families from becoming true members of society by causing prejudices and unfair treatment, such as delayed payments and physical assaults on migrant workers.

Globalization is inevitable and Korea should change its way of thinking in order to transform the society into a flexible place where cultural and ethnic diversity exists in harmony. This is not to say that Korea should abandon or take less care of its history and tradition. Rather, Koreans should acquire knowledge on their own culture and build up a solid foundation to accommodate foreign ideas through creative modifications so that they suits the circumstances of the country. Therefore, the concept of Minjok should be used to overcome a national crisis like it did back in '1997 IMF financial crisis' and solve social problems that minjung suffers. Otherwise, it can shape up part of a political strategy and allow one person to have too much power in possession.

However, the ultimate goal of Minjok is peaceful reunification of North and South Korea. Though North Korea's attitudes of the last few decades have not been friendly towards South Korea, Minjok will play a key role in a possible reunification process. North Korea has been virtually isolated from the international society, but still shares the same concept of Minjok, that both Korea is originated from the same ancestry and possess the same blood. Of course, the discussion on economic and political integration must precede before actual endeavors for national unification, but the idea of Minjok will be an underlying force behind the whole process. My thought, however, is that the power of the word Minjok will dwindle and eventually disappear after the reunification since the reason why Shin Chae-Ho came up with the notion was to bring the nation together.

North and South Korea marching together under one 'unification' flag in 2000 Sydney Olympics

I) Essay Chosen

The essay that we chose for revision & improvement was 121115 HyunJin Jun’s essay on the future of amusement parks

ii) Our Criteria

Upon evaluation we looked at the organization, content, and mechanics of our works. 

Organization is related to the how well a certain essay arranges its thoughts and ideas in a coherent, logical order, including structure (thesis statement, paragraph division & allocation etc) and the use of transitions. 

Mechanics is related to how well the writer can utilize English tools, such as vocabulary & grammar, to accurately express what he/she has to say, and involves concision, diction, and grammar. 

Content is the set of thoughts, ideas, or arguments that are actually expressed within an essay. An essay with good content is that in which ideas are specific, creative, and engaging upon the average reader. Owing to the fact that the overwhelming majority of our group’s essays were clichés about technology and environment, the originality and novelty of content was especially valued and prioritized. 

A list below shows some of the important things we have taken into consideration:

3. Mechanics

   - Concision

   - Diction

   - Grammar

iii) Why we chose this essay (merits)

HyunJin’s essay is strong and distinguished in the sense that the fundamental ideas and details expressed within the essay are creative and specific; by identifying some of the problems inherent with the status quo of the amusement park operation system, and stating three specific ways in which future innovations and technology can complement these shortcomings, she achieves both depth and originality of content.

Another strong point of her essay is in her usage of mechanics. The sentences in this essay enable readers to comfortably grasp her thoughts and ideas, being simple and concise, and she uses a variety of phrases and vocabularies all topped off well with good grammar. The topic of her essay, and the manner in which she expresses her ideas, gives this TOEFL essay color that other TOEFL essays don’t have.

iv) Shortcomings & Revisions

● Even though this essay conforms to the typical TOEFL structure and is organized with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, there are several minor flaws; for instance, in the place of an introductory thesis statement is instead a question. Although this new form of experimenting can create a casual, intimate atmosphere between the reader and the writer, we deemed it would be best for the cause if we replaced it with a proper thesis statement. That way, we could establish a clear relationship between the introduction and the body paragraphs through the usage of transitions.

   à . “These efforts will lead to more innovations and developments that can enhance the entertainment experience in theme parks, such as the concentration of amusement functions, improvements to the ticket system, and technological advancements in roller-coasters.” (Introductory thesis statement that was augmented)

● Another minor error with structure and mechanics was the uneven distribution of word count between each body paragraph; even though this is something that does happen, and can be an effective means of writing from time to time, we deemed that in a TOEFL essay it would be best to reduce this discrepancy. By paraphrasing, omitting, and adding phrases, we sought to make the writing more powerful, coherent, and persuasive, while simultaneously reducing the word gap between the body paragraphs.

● The original version of this essay didn’t include transitions that could naturally link paragraphs. We solved this problem by adding some.

● Even though they do not interfere with the readers’ understanding of the text, there were several minor grammatical errors scattered throughout the corners of this essay, some of the most representative of which was the awkward usage/omission of definite/indefinite articles and mistakes in tense.

● Although it poses no threat to the readers’ understanding of the text, the original essay includes redundant usage of the same vocabulary, the most representative of which is the overuse of the key word ‘amusement park’. To solve these problems we substituted them with pronouns or synonyms.


v) Final Version of HyunJin's Essay


Amusement parks are some of the most attractive places in the world. People of all ages and both sexes can experience the exciting atmosphere there, enjoying thrilling rides, beautiful scenery, delicious foods, or fun games. As numerous people love to go there, it seems highly unlikely that the amusement park will ever disappear; instead, companies are continuously attempting to develop new rides and features for their customers. These efforts will lead to more innovations and developments that can enhance the entertainment experience in theme parks, such as the concentration of amusement functions, improvements to the ticket system, and technological advancements in roller-coasters.



The first innovation that will appear is the achievement of space-efficiency through the development of a compact complex that includes all prior amusement features. Modern amusement parks occupy too much space for widespread and efficient usage. For example, Korea can only possess a limited number of theme parks due to their intimidating size, thus diminishing the utility and fun that can be derived from a single visit. The advent of the ‘amusement building’ can complement the drawbacks of the current system by concentrating functions into a tall building. Las Vegas is already on the stage of constructing such type of facility, with merry-go-rounds, Vikings, and bungee jumping apparatus on top of the building, and other entertaining utilities in lower floors like restaurants or game stations.

Another change that will occur is the total alteration of ticket systems in amusement parks. The status quo requires that people show the tickets worn on their wrists for every ride; this policy is inconvenient since employees have to distinguish the many types of tickets, and users are subject to the nuisance of rolling up their shirt sleeves whenever they use the rides. The ticket in the future can complement these shortcomings through the application of an internal micro chip. These state-of-the-art tickets contain functions that can automatically identify the visitor and the type of ticket via recognition of a bar code, reducing inefficiency and making it easier to find a lost child.

Lastly, certain adaptations will alter the future of roller-coasters. Inventors will try hard to contrive of roller-coaster designs that can give a more fascinating and exciting experience to riders. One of such designs is the installation of a transparent safety belt. At the present, when people ride roller-coasters, they have to depend on big safety bars strapped on seats, knowing that they are the only things that can keep them from falling; however, imagine that, in the future, they will not be able to see those safety belts. Knowing that the roller-coaster will swoop downwards in a matter of seconds, riders would be able to experience the thrill of free fall; and yet the invisible bars will keep all of them intact and safe.

Although only a few would imagine about a future amusement park, there would be endless development on entertainment in the future; for as time goes by, people would increasingly spend their time enjoying their pastime rather than sitting on the desk working. To satisfy those people, suppliers will have to plan for new facilities giving people better, and more realistic, forms of pleasure. An amusement building with shivering roller-coasters and convenient ticket systems will be able to accomplish just those goals, and fill people’s lives with pleasure and leisure. 

Open up the closet and drawers in your room. What do you see? You may find thick clothes that contain wool and keep you warm in winter. Or vitamin supplements that went through an animal experiment. It seems most of the product we use every day received help from animals in the process of manufacturing. Even the diet without meat is impossible to imagine for some people, as meat consumption per capita for South Korea increased tenfold from 4.1 kilograms to 48 kilograms.

But despite the heavy human reliance on animals, only few know about how animal products come into use of people. ‘Earthlings’, a 2005 documentary movie directed by Shaun Monson, an animal rights activist, exposes cruel brutality conducted by humans on animals in response to the ignorance. It contains countless footage collected over six years through hidden cameras and offers them in five categories: Pets, Food, Clothes, Entertainment, and Science.

The film utilizes emotional aspects to convey the message. Background music is rather calm and even peaceful, contradicting the images of animals in pain. Also, no interview was included in the movie to make the footage speak for itself.

“I wrote the narrative, but beyond that I wanted the footage to speak for itself. And nothing more ... no talking heads utilized in an effort to agree with me. “said Shaun Monson. 

The movie is also logically organized, coherently structured to show the sequence of how animals are treated. For example, it starts from showing Indian cows embarking on a harrowing ‘death march’, transported in a careless way and slaughtered to finally end up in hands of a customer. This way of stating facts divulges a process of how animal products come into use step by step, blatantly exposing the system which most people are unaware of or choose not to discover. The use of statistics and quotes by famous figures such as Mark Twain strengthen the director’s opinion as well and establishes credibility to the film’s voice.

Watching a series of footage was a big shock and made me take a negative point of view regarding the use of animals. All five categories included violence carried out by humans and their motive could be summed up in two words. The first one is profit. Every procedure of manufacturing a product is manipulated to maximize the profit. For example, chicken beaks are chopped up to prevent them from pecking one another, and a large group of cows are haphazardly put in a truck without the care of sanitation. The desire for profit is most highlighted in the entertainment section, greatly shown in the footage of circus preparation. In the video, an elephant is brutally treated by a trainer until it obeys orders. They advertise that animals are trained with positive enforcement, but in fact, the reality is completely different from what most people know about the event. It is easy to distinguish if the motive is the profit when we think the event would still occur in a world without capitalism. Without the motive to earn money, would people still train giant elephants with the risk of hurting themselves? Would there be bizarre events like pigeon bowling? I highly doubt it.



The second word is superiority. The logic lying beneath taking off an animal's skin alive, killing a dog using a gas chamber, and bullfighting is that humans are superior to animals. I do not mean to argue against the historical fact that the strong rules and feed on the weak. But respecting the feelings and emotions is a different matter. It is a matter of how we choose to place ourselves in the planet. If we truly respect animals for being alive just like us, we should learn to hold our desires and seek for alternatives even if it makes up a part of food diet, culture or scientific research. Humans have evolved to exert power over the nature, but we still remain a tiny portion of it and should know to live together with other creatures.

I believe the movie is heavily one-sided and suggest only the dark side of human reliance on animals with detailed graphics. For instance, the average mouse gene is about 85% similar to its human homolog and is frequently used to test the safety of new medicine. But it does not point out the roles animals played to promote the health of humankind. Nonetheless, I think the message the film implies is perfectly valid because animals did not have an appropriate chance to express their opinions. In the beginning, the film presents the three stages of truth and tries to make the connection between speciesism and other types of discrimination like racism and sexism. The second step in the three stages of truth is ‘violent opposition’, which animals clearly did not deserve unlike African-Americans or women who fought for universal suffrage. This movie speaks in behalf of animals, which I think is the factor that makes the film so powerful and effective. I would recommend for everyone, even meat-eaters and leather lovers, as it offers a new perspective and a chance for them to learn to treat animals with respect.

Animals have maintained a close relationship with humans throughout the whole history. It developed to shape essential parts of cultures, food diet, and even scientific progress. However, we should never forget that animals have a nerve system and brain like humans that enable them to feel pain and emotions. They just developed different abilities and senses in the process of adaptation to diverse surroundings, which does not make them as underlings or inferior organisms. There are alternatives to improve this relationship in a way that preserves the whole earth. Animals will sustain their lives with less pain, enabling humans to live with them, not ‘above’ them. Most importantly, nature will be a cleaner and more harmonious place to live in for all earthlings. 

Chapter Four begins by stating that Mr. Croup and Mr. Vandemar live in a sub-cellar of a forgotten Victorian hospital. Interestingly, early hospitals were seen as a gateway to death because of poor conditions such as overcrowded rooms. Considering this, I assumed the characters in London Below represent those who were ‘abandoned’ in modern society. This led me to a question; why don’t people in London Below cooperate? London Below is not completely disconnected from the world above since Illaster escaped from there. That means it is possible to return to London Above. Since they all share the harshness of the real world, I expected them work together to prove their existence and value to people in London Above, as a form of a riot. Instead, the rat-speakers built their own society underground. Why did they choose not to be seen by strangers like rats?

I could find my answer to the question from Anesthesia. She was staying under an overpass in Notting Hill, running away from violence of her aunt and her husband. Notting Hill is an affluent area, but it is also a cold place that shows no understanding for other people’s suffering, as can be seen in the daunting description of the excerpt of ‘The Napoleon of Notting Hill’. If people in Notting Hill were sympathetic enough to care about Anesthesia, she would have not come down to London Below. However, people see in different perspectives according to the situation they are in. For rich people with a high social status, they do not understand nor feel the need to notice problems the poor face every day. For example, when a politician Chung Mong-joon was asked how much a bus fare is in 2008, he answered “70 won.” I wonder if people in modern, materialized society are growing more selfish.

The part where Croup answers a phone call was also interesting. He is cruel and kills people together with Mr. Vandemar, but becomes a lamb when he is on the phone with his employer. Actually, they are just taking orders and doing what their boss ordered them to do. So, can we blame for what they do if they are kind-hearted in nature, but only kill innocent people as an order? There are times when people must do something even though it is against their will. A soldier in a war is one example. He may not like the idea of taking away a person’s life, but he has to kill enemies to win the battle and save his own life. If Croup and Vandemar were ordered to make a donation to the homeless, they would appear as generous characters. I thought understanding how authority can change a person’s behavior would useful when making a decision as a member of society.

Chapter Five shows Richard in the Floating Market. He sees stuff being sold in the market and thinks they are quite bizarre. From fresh nightmares, rubbish, mended clothes to jewelry made from antique radios, they sell and buy things that people in London Above would mostly find useless and have not much interest in. In addition, it does not fit to the place the market is being held, Harrods, an upmarket department store. I think there can be two ways to think about this. First, it can be thought that what people want to possess and value highly in these days is actually nothing. Products made by famous brands, such as bags, shoes, and makeup accessories are not ‘efficient’. They are not necessary in life and can be replaced with other cheaper and more efficient products. The reason people want to purchase them, however, is because of the honor and attention they will bring, not the utility. They want to raise their social status by possessing those products, but it takes more than luxuries to gain true respect from others.

From a different perspective, it can be suggested that seemingly useless things are in fact valuable in our lives. For example, an antique radio may have fewer features than up-to-date ones, but it also contains properties and beauty that modern products do not have. With rapid technological advances, we may forget the value of things we already have in possession. However, old products had once been cutting edge technologies and new products will become old in the future as well. Everything holds its own value in its own way.

Richard finding violence exhilarating was worth thinking about too. I feel people these days are under too much pretenses to present a better image of themselves. During that process, we are forced hide our emotions and change words since not doing so would draw others’ attention and jeopardize our social positions. Politicians, office workers, and even teachers are not exceptions. A society where people are afraid to speak the truth deceives every member of it, and we should equip ours with proper measures so that more whistle blowers can come up front.

In chapter Six, the characters head to Islington to find an angel. This is funny since there is a Tube station named Angel in Angel, Islington. We do not know if there is an angel in Islington or if an angel really exists. However, we cannot disprove an argument that an angel exists because we can only make assumptions. People once believed that the Earth rotated around the sun. They also thought that all matter consisted of water, fire, earth, and air. But both theories proved to be false with advances in science. This suggests that knowledge we have about the world we live in can be false because we do not know everything about it. For example, it is possible that our lives are controlled and planned just like the Truman show. Maybe emotions, relationships, history, and even family are fabricated. Therefore, I believe we have to keep learning and suspecting what’s around us because we may not be seeing something that clearly exists. We don’t know what is there until we decide to look inside like Schrödinger’s cat, a famous thought experiment, tells us. A complex mathematical equation means nothing to a person with no knowledge in math while it can indicate the power of an atomic bomb to an expert in the field. It’s the same with people in London Below. There may be people out there who desperately need help from London Above. It may be that they are sending signals for rescue but we are not recognizing them. Thus, we should never stop asking questions because everything can turn out to be false.