Essay Prompt:Describe a custom from your country that you would like people from other countries to adopt. Explain your choice, using specific reasons and examples.
Send your love through rice cake
Word Count: 539
Maintaining strong relationships with
neighbors was crucial when farming was the biggest industry in Korea. Families had
to exchange help as agricultural machinery was not available back then. Therefore,
the custom of sharing food when moving into a new community emerged in an
effort to get close to others and continues until today. In my opinion, other
countries would greatly benefit by adopting the convention of food sharing for
three reasons.
First, a person can quickly adapt to a
new community by sharing food. Something to eat combined with a brief chat is a
handy way to introduce oneself to neighbors. In this way, one can create a
sense of security and belonging, which reduces time needed to regain stability
in life. For example, I delivered a lump of rice cake when my family moved to
Ilsan seven years ago. Thought of going door-to-door and ringing a doorbell of
complete strangers frightened me at first. To my relief, however, the neighbors
were kind enough to accept the gift and smile back. It was a delightful
experience that I found people in the apartment friendly and make a pleasant
first impression to them.
Secondly, sharing food is an appropriate
starting point for establishing solid relationship with neighbors. It presents
a precious opportunity to become acquainted with and bring win-win situations
in the long run. To elaborate, making friends with other members of the
community is of significant value in that it offers a reliable source of help. For
instance, you will hesitate little when asking a neighbor to take care of the
house during the vacation if you find him trustworthy. In addition, there is an
inevitable possibility of small or large conflicts even though there are basic
rules and manners for living in the same area. Nevertheless, keeping close relationships
with other people in the district would make it easier to deal with the problem
or even prevent it from happening with mutual understanding.
Last but not least, food sharing can lead
to a discovery of new friends, thus enriching someone’s life. Giving out food is
not only a way to announce that you are new in town, but also possesses an
implied request of becoming friends. For example, my mother found out that my
friend in the same class lives one floor below while giving out rice cake
before. Then, they often shared thoughts on various topics over a cup of coffee
and started to go jogging together. Right now, my brother and I attend boarding
schools and my father is working abroad in Kuwait. So it is reassuring to know that
my mother has someone to open up mind to and have a frank discussion. A lot of people
these days live each day without expressing their emotions much and fail to pay
attention to valuable ones around them. Hence, sharing food can introduces new
relationships that will improve life satisfaction.
To sum up, food sharing when moving into
a new neighborhood is a custom worth adopting by other countries. It entails
several advantages: facilitate adaptation to a new community, help build
relationships with neighbors, and introduce new friends. With a little
preparation and a radiant smile, it is a successful formula to living a
harmonious life.
Definitely a TOEFL essay, and very well written. You have me convinced that this is indeed a very good tradition. It's actually common among many cultures, and could make for an intersting compare and contrast research paper. In Canada it might be the opposite way. IF you are a new neighbor moving into a new home, it is usually the job of the long term residents to approach you and offer something - perhaps a pie or a casserole. This was a common thing in the 1960s onward, but I think it is becoming less common.
답글삭제Anyways, very good essay and glad to see you haven't left it until the last minute.
<3 things I liked>
답글삭제1. It was very easy to understand the point that you wanted to make. It was mainly because of a good usage of translations.
2. There was no hard words used, or any parts that foreigners might have hard time understanding the writer's intention.
3. Good usage of examples made the essay more colorful.
<3 things to work on>
1. To me, the second and the third point seem a little similar to each other. It would be nice if the writer can make more unique points or combine two points to make a more solid one.
2. Giving some foods to others when one move into a new neighborhood is not a unique thing that happen only in Korea. Rather, this happens in many other countries, the only difference being that the food that they provide is not a rice cake. It would have been better if the writing was about a more traditional Korean custom that is only held in Korea.
3. Minor grammatical mistakes...?
Overally, it was such a nice toefl essay that it was really hard for me to find some points to improve on!!
Hi 석화! I really like your essay because it has a great logical flow and specific examples. Food sharing is indeed a great tradition is Korea, and I am quite sad that it is disappearing these days :( I never had a new neighbor come up to our house and give us something to eat! Anyways, I like how your essay is neatly organized, but I think the points are a bit similar to each other. Would there be any other advantages of this tradition otherwise the fact that it makes positive relationships among neighbors? Hmm......
답글삭제